Knock-Off Chipotle Night

I’ll just cut to the chase: The best part about this meal was that I got to use the new lemon juicer that I mentioned here.

I was so proud of myself for being in the midst of grocery shopping and deciding how fancy I was going to get with taco night.  Initially, I was just going to do taco-in-a-box (my husband is shuddering as I write this…he’s half Mexican and half Ecuadorian so he knows a thing or two about authenticity, and taco-in-a-box is not one of those things).  Then I thought, “What else goes good with taco-in-a-box?”  My husband would say “Nothing”, but I thought “Oh, rice and beans! But I want to do it Chipotle style!”.  So ensues the hurried Google-ing in the produce section on how to make Chipotle style cilantro rice and their amazing black beans.  I discover that I have most of the ingredients at home already, sans cilantro, a lemon, and a lime.  SCORE!

I rush home, again, just so proud of myself.  I’m beaming ear to ear because I know that I’m FINALLY going to get to use that lemon juicer thing I bought on Prime Day (damn you, Amazon!).  But first, I must find it.  I shoved it somewhere thinking, “You’re going to forget where this is….”, then I said to myself, “Self, that sounds like a problem for future Jennifer”.  And so it was.  It was a huge problem because I really did not want to dance with the devil again by squeezing a lemon right side up (see above link).  I open every cabinet, I’m frantically searching and double searching cabinets then I remember exactly where it is.  Not even in the kitchen.  It was by my computer desk, in a box, in the mountain of other items I bought on Prime Day (curses, Amazon, curses!).

A-ha!  Victory!  I quickly clean it, making sure I get all the soap bubbles off because no one wants soapy lemon juice, cut the lemon in half, and start juicing the heck out of it.  I squeeze, and spin, and squeeze, and spin, and before I know it, I have a TON of lemon juice.  I fully expected to see just a million seeds come out of this lemon.  I mean, so many lemon seeds that I would feel completely justified in going bat s*&% crazy on Prime Day.  You know how many lemon seeds came out of that lemon?  Go on, take a guess.  I’ll wait…..

Three.  THREE!  That’s it!  THREE seeds.  I was so upset.  Every other time I’ve squeezed a lemon, I swear I’m fishing out 42 damn seeds from my food.  And if it’s not 42, it’s at the very least 17 seeds.  But, three?  Come on, that’s not even right.



Lesson learned:  You can’t judge a lemon by it’s peel.  No matter how big or small a lemon is, you really have no idea how many seeds will be in it.  Unless of course some botanist can explain to me that there is indeed a way to tell if a lemon will be full of seeds or not.  Any botanists out there?  HMU.

Positive lesson learned:  When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Literally, my kid took the extra juice and mixed it in a cup with ice cubes and downed it.  She was surprised when it didn’t taste like lemonade, saying “WOW! This does NOT taste like lemonade at the restaurants”….. kids.  They’re hilarious…. I should have warned her…. But I didn’t. 😬


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