I enjoy cooking. I enjoy eating. I do not enjoy cleaning up after cooking and eating. Someone should keep track of the percentage of my time spent in the kitchen. That someone will not be me as I enjoy breathing in a normal pattern. If I were to keep a record of it, hyperventilation would ensue.
Breakfast is made. Breakfast is eaten. Breakfast is forgotten. Until I go into the kitchen. I begin cleaning up after said morning meal. This carries on until the dreaded snack time. My children can’t pick a snack without turning it into a mess either in my house or on themselves. I didn’t realize that a slice of cheese can be smeared so easily onto glass doors. My son helped me with that realization. Neither can they pick a snack without wanting it cut into smaller pieces. Strawberries are kind of a “no utensils needed” kind of food. My kids want theirs quartered and sliced. I know this because of multiple attempts in handing them strawberries only for them to scream at me in distaste, “It’s not cut!”. I cut it, “NO! Cut THIS way!”. So on and so forth until they have trained me like a teacup poodle at a circus. Hence, I automatically bring out the cutting board and knife when I hear them request a snack. But oh wait; they want their strawberries in a bowl. “NO! Not the red bowl the green bowl!”. Ugh. Now I have an extra bowl to clean. You should read this post on my other blog about being the World’s Most Defeated Mother of ALL TIME.
So now I wait. I wait until they decide they are done and I ask them to take their dirty dishes to the sink. That. Damn. Sink. Instead of cleaning up snack dishes (I just cleaned up from breakfast, after all) I leave them in the sink until it’s time to make lunch. Oh crap! I forgot about lunch! “Let me clean up these dishes really quick”, said no mom ever. Nothing in Mom-dom is quick. Now I have overly hungry children because I severely underestimated the size of their snack in relation to difference in time between breakfast and their mid-day meal. This is math, people. And I’m bad at it.
I scramble through lunch. Basically, repeat all of the conversations during snack time because I will just never be able to read the minds of my children when they ask, “What color bowl am I thinking of?”. I need to buy uniform colors of dishes from now on.
But alas, the sweetest moment of the day has approached. Cue angels singing. It’s naaaappppp tiiiimmmmeee. I have such high hopes for nap time. I will start by cleaning the kitchen. Yes! It will be clean before the children wake up. Then I’ll move on to the dining table, a very natural progression. Then I’ll clean up the living room (that pile of folded clothes that’s been sitting on the couch for two days needs to be refolded because it’s been on the couch for two days with children and a dog jumping around the room like Thing 1 and Thing 2, see above link). Oh wait, the couch. Look how nice, and soft, and comfy that couch looks. Yes, the couch. Oh look! The Twilight Forever Blu-Ray box set that I received for Mother’s Day! Yes, I’ll watch Twilight while I fold the laundry (again), after I’ve tidied the living room, after I’ve cleaned the dining table, after I’ve cleaned the kitchen and those dishes from lunch and snack time.
Boy, that sounds exhausting.
I think I’ll just lie on the couch and watch Twilight.